Afghanistan Bound

Somehow the beginning of this story may begin with this quote… “I was sworn in by a fool and vouched for by a scoundrel”…No, don’t ask me who the fool and scoundrel are, Top Secret information.

My first “directed” assignment is Uruzgan province, Afghanistan.  In a few days I will be packing my ONE backpack (yes you read correctly, one as in the number one – simplicity and pairing down this year!).  I am now ready to deploy to Afghanistan for a year, and it occurred to me that I have been remiss in telling the beginning of what is sure to be an interesting story. So reflection on the last couple of months’ preparation seems in order.

The learning begins.

Inventory of experience. I first have to take stock of what I know and what I don’t know. Filter through the brainwaves of 15 years working in Latin America to see what might be relevant and forget the rest. Possible relevant learning to keep: People are people and everyone is different from the other, even in the same country. Don’t assume anything. Ask questions. Take the time to talk – relationship building is alive and well. Don’t mess with family. Honor and Face and Kinship embody everything. Drink and eat whatever you are offered. Say thank you. Stay alert, active observation and active listening are the second keys to success. Indirect communication is also alive and well. That’s about all I think I’m going in with, the rest I will scrap and then learn as I go. I am told I should also be aware that in Afghanistan, it’s not WYSIWYG and that The Godfather is a nice analogy for early learners of Afghan culture, so I will filter out a few strands of wisdom from there as well, like “Leave the gun, take the cannoli (or naan, as it were)”… know when to “go to the mattresses”.

Research. I have started reading and watching movies, too. Afghan Star (2008) is a more recent movie, and very good (New York Times wrote “Afghan Star,” Havana Marking’s engrossing documentary, suspense surrounds a talent competition that becomes a national obsession, lending a steady narrative drive to this portrait of an “American-style television show in Afghanistan. The excitement is more than a matter of who will win. The movie uses the talent show “Afghan Star” as a prism through which to examine the fragmented tribal culture of Afghanistan as reflected in the backgrounds of four finalists (two of them women) and the public responses to their performances.). On my list of movies to watch, are several others, including Osama, Behind the Taliban Lines, Motherland Afghanistan, the Kite Runner, and a few others. I bought a Kindle and have it ready loaded with about 5 of the top recommended books to read. Commuting around DC has already given me ample time to read the hard backs that I checked out. I have been seeking books that are not only informative but also fun and not completely morbidly depressing, which is not easy to meet criteria in this case. But amongst them, are a few good ones, including Michener’s Caravans, an older book, but written about a State Department employee working in Kabul who gets to travel around the country and learn more of the culture. I am starting up The Places In Between by Rory Stewart. And I have started studying Pashto on Rosetta Stone, although I admit to pure laziness on that front. I think the real life need for it will drive me to better habits soon enough.

Training. For the first time in forever I am actually being purposefully prepared, as in trained, for a job (well, ok, not counting those 25 years plus of formal education). Pretty psyched though. I don’t get formally trained in Pashto, because we’ll have translators, but I do get trained on Afghan culture, how to strengthen local government, other work projects, and also how to work with, be protected by, and imbedded with, the military (Army, Air Force, Marines, Navy, as well as other countries’ civ-mil teams). Immersion into two cultures at once is a thrill for the little anthropologist inside.

Pre-deployment training is seven weeks since I will be working in the field rather than in Kabul. By far the most exciting parts of the training were the last two weeks, which is the “application” stage of the adult learning cycle. The prior weeks were more information delivery (otherwise known as Death by PowerPoint). But we did, at long last, finally get to test our knowledge in hands-on training during the last two weeks, one of which was at a Camp Muscatatuck, the National Guard’s Training Center in middle of nowhere Indiana, followed by time in West Virginia at Bill Scott Raceway.

Indiana was fascinating. It’s been too long since I got to experience so many “firsts” in such a short period of time.

We got to experience an MRAP roll over, in a training environment, which I can assure you will not be a fun experience if it happens in real life. The space is tiny, the vehicle is a larger heftier more serious version of an armored Humvee thingamadoodle, it will probably be 120 degrees in the shade when it happens, and the inside will be filled with a gunner (the person in the middle sticking out of the top), as well as ammo and other equipment that, that, should it not be tied down properly, will just as easily knock out a few teeth or give you a mild concussion as the actual rollover. Not to mention your general lack of mobility when you are wearing 40 lbs. of armor and tied to the rolling vehicle in a four point harness, and must climb out “speedily” through perhaps only one opening in the vehicle, upside down or sideways, with four or more other people, over equipment, in a possible flaming vehicle. The military’s favorite phrase, “Move with a Purpose”, takes on a whole new meaning once you get a chance to try this. I now know that that if I take a roll or two in one of things, I can haul my heavy ass out of there if a) we just happen to not be carrying any ammo or equipment and the middle area is clean and cleared (3% likelihood); b) if I am in the vehicle with at least two burly dudes who can coordinate unbuckling me upside down, catch me before I break my neck or crack my helmet, and pull me to safety (97% likelihood); and c) if these two burly dudes are good Southern boys nice gallant and chivalrous enough to both look back as well as turn around to help me when the vehicle is on flames, as it is likely to be (a less than 1% likelihood). If all of these criteria are met, I will indeed survive.

So, my next “first” was wearing combat gear for much of the day all week. This is sort of like wearing a strait jacket (with holes for the arms), with giant pockets filled with enormous slabs of rock, that you strap on top of all your clothing, it goes around your stomach and Velcro tightly around your waist, then back around again, and on three different incoming straps is held tightly in place. Add a helmet to that, and while you look like a serious Bad Ass, you only look like that as long as you don’t try to move. At all. If you walk, you can fall down because your chin hits the top part of the plate and you can’t quite see your toes and do convenient life tasks, like tie your shoes, go to the bathroom, or put a seatbelt on. If you are getting in and out of a vehicle, be thankful for your helmet because it will protect your head from yourself. If your helmet is unfortunately too large for your head, as mine was this week, you must also learn to be in a perpetual state of the “trust walk” and the “trust fall” because half the time it’s fallen over your eyes and you won’t be able to see. But, despite such challenges, I persevered and overcame, and I am proud to say, won praise from our hard-to-please DEA, RSO, SECFOR, and Commander for the enthusiasm with which I would run and throw myself into the vehicle when under fire, as we were taught. Again, the number one rule being “move with a purpose”. My time improved from around five minutes to stumble toward the vehicle, using both arms as brace and hauling mechanism, pull a leg in and pull myself into the high seat, bumping my head at least four times in the process, and call for help to get buckled because I couldn’t reach the bottom buckle or the top – yes, it was a sad site and one I’m sure provided at least a few chuckles in the barracks next door – but by Day 6 I was a Pro. Move with a Purpose indeed! Most Successful Instruction-Following-Fast-Moving Civilian around. With the code word out, or the shouts of a “Move out”, I could, cat-like, reach for my armor with one hand, throw it over my head in one fluid motion, snap my helmet on after, as I ran do the four part now you see it now you don’t magic Velcro trick, sprint for the trucks under guard, and fling myself head first in, do the tuck and roll as I did, landing in the far seat and allowing others to barrel in after me. Mighty proud. I was overly enthusiastic one day and did what I now dub as the Upside Down Turtle. Which is what happens when you tuck and roll but aim to low and end with your butt jammed in the floorboards and your hands and feet stuck in the air, immobilized until we arrive at the next port of call and a couple of cute burly guys help you out. But that was ok, because when you’re under fire, your only job is to “Get off the X”. I am a proficient Off the X kind of girl. Nothing like some good TIC, taking some rounds, planning for hot zone, avoiding contact, and having meeting and convoy in kinetic areas to teach those lessons! I am loving the military lingo: TIC – Troops in Contact and other ways to say people are trying to blow you up.

We also had to learn the ranks, insignia and chain of command for the people we will be working with. It’s a crazy organizational alphabet soup, between Navy and Air Force officers in charge of enlisted Army and Marines, with Civil Affairs (S-9s) with them, working on civ-mil joint purposes, with USAID, Dept. of State and USDA, and then throw in those random enforcement people (DEA, RSO) and Dept. of Commerce and Dept. of Justice, it’s a weird place where figuring out who your boss is might take you a good six months. As they say our first order of business, both on our side as well as the local Afghan side, is “to know who’s who in the zoo”. I have to say that I have been mightily impressed with what I’ve seen so far, from the Afghans who were training us, as well as our military mentors who have been out there and have returned. Smart, interesting, savvy people, not your run of the mill individuals. And I have NEVER seen a more organized body of people than the Army. They give a whole new meaning to planning and management and organization. Thousands of people, supplies, logistics, and information, all managed and efficiently sorted through. It’s impressive. The rest of the government, and for that matter, private sector, could take a few tips. Everything is all about “Task and Purpose”, and meetings are fast and to the point, each section reporting out on “Task, Purpose, Outcome”. If you say one sentence too many, the commander will say, “Got it”, which means shut up, I understand, next point. It’s the epitome of direct communication, which of course I love. After living for so many years in Latin America being around soooo many quintessential Americans with Directness multiplied by Ten and Squared, was awesome. Going along with that, and knowing Who’s Who in the Zoo, is also knowing what you need to do, your own task and purpose, and what other people’s are, and staying focused on your own stuff. Stay in Your Lane is big with the military, and any collaborative, joint operations, overall. We are constantly reminded what our “lane” is, and sticking to what we’re good at and leaving other people to do their job (as in our Security Forces job is to keep us safe). And of course, I can’t go a day now without saying COPY or ROGER THAT anymore. There were also some funny ones. This one guy would also say “it was bad like a soup sandwich” and after convoys it was “time to downgrade” (get out of your gear), and pep talks were given on how not to act, ending with “Don’t be that guy”.

I like learning new foreign languages and this is a whole new one to me. Let’s just hope I don’t forget English.

The week in Indiana was intense and resembled real life. We lived on a FOB (forward operating base), in barracks, separate showers/bathrooms from the rooms, DFAC (dining facility), just a few civilians with a larger number of military, and we were busy all day from about 6:30 a.m. until around 10:30 p.m. with a very few and grudgingly-given potty breaks. Our team got scolded by our Colonel for not being able to hold it long enough, so a couple of us gals may invest in one of those FUDs (Female Urinary Device), or more aptly named “magic cone” for the real deal, since this was just training and hard enough! Our schedule was pretty much wake up, eat, meet with convoy leaders to go over route and safety, load up, roll out, get bombed, get to the Afghan village/provincial government building/market, etc. for meetings, hold meetings Afghan style for a few hours, on different vignettes, rotating who would lead, be back up and be observers, finish, get feedback from Afghans, then from our mentors, get shot at, have to evacuate quickly, roll out, convoy home, report day and kinetic activity, to the various chain of commands, hold CUBs (Command Update Briefs) between PRTs and DSTs to catch up, and plan for the next day’s series of 2 to 3 meetings, with a variety of working lunches and working dinners in between. I thrive on a schedule like that, so I loved it. But by 10 p.m. I was wiped and definitely ready for bed. Since Afghanistan will be a six day work week, on the Muslim calendar, with only Friday off, I better get used to the “battle rhythm”, because that’s pretty much how it’s going to be.

I got home after that week and slept like the dead until noon the next day I think.

And then started back up again, this time on the popularly named “Crash and Bang” course. Everyone’s favorite apparently.

The first part was training on what to do if we get kidnapped (fun fun) and then we got good skills on basic battle-field-immediate-life-saving medical action techniques. We were taught “MARCH”, so we can remember what to do, and we practiced it all on each other — (M for Massive Hemorrhaging and blood loss and how to stop it with a tourniquet, then A, clear airways, R, respiration – repair sucking chest wounds essentially, then C, circulation and dealing with shock, and lastly H – treating for hypothermia). Then we learned how to deal with severe burns and impalements. I have an individual handy dandy medical kit (you only use your own kit, or someone else would use your kit on you, they won’t use their kit on you), with a tourniquet, Israeli bandages, gauze, etc. plus the pieces for covering the chest wounds and I now know what to do with everything in it. So pretty cool, at least in theory; personally, I really hope I never have to use any of this knowledge.

We then spent an afternoon learning gun safety and how to handle, load, reload, empty, make safe, and shoot five different guns – Beretta, Glock and Sig (these are essentially all 9 mm hand guns) — an M4 carbine a(newer model of an M16) and AK47 – both automatic/semi-automatic rifles. If you haven’t already fallen over in your chair from shock, this will make you keel… I liked it! I plan to learn more!… yes, yes, this peace loving, anti-military, anti-NRA, believer in nonviolent change, granola, tree hugging, hippie girl really digs the ‘worst case scenario’ weapons training. Our practice site was shooting pretty close up – about 12 to 15 meters, but I did a good job, overall, for my first real try with live ammunition, in hitting almost all of my targets (about 75%). And I was at least able to handle the weight and posture and kick for shooting and loading all of them. I will try to get better with comfort and aim, once I’m there, just in case. The last thing I want to be is a burden or a liability for our team if things go badly. I’m already asking for a miracle in hoping that someone will pull me out of a flaming MRAP. Don’t want to push my luck. Not sure how this plays into useful new life skills, but I might as well do it well.

But the driving stuff was DEFINITELY a useful life skill, regardless of whether I use it in Afghanistan or not. I actually think they should teach this to teenagers in mandatory defensive driving courses so they can handle their vehicles better and don’t get in so many wrecks when they panic on skids and locking brakes. Just think – if you had asked me a year ago, “Anna, do you know how to conduct a high speed chase (with you being the chasee), take corners, handle curves and skidding and locking brakes, and swerve through obstacles at high speeds in both reverse and forward drive, do Y turns, spin on a dime, detect and get away from people trying to kill you, and ram blockades and other vehicles out of your way?”, I would have had to answer “umm…no”.. Not now! My, my how things change. I am now proficient in all of the above! They also taught us how to do most of the above in a Humvee and armored suburban…. my skills set just gets broader and more interesting by the day.

However, I found this funny and those of you who know me might too – my instructor did tell me that I was far too analytical (he was able to guess that I am a list maker, fancy that), and he told me that I needed to stop trying to think my way through things and just FEEL the right decision, (if I hadn’t been required to be attentive and follow instructions seriously I would have been laughing my head off at that one – imagine someone telling me to make more decisions based on how I feel and not use my rational brain thinking functions.. .if I did that any more I would be a danger to society). But he told me over and over that there are only two options up for decision, in a split second, upon assessing my context, and that is to either a) go forward, or b) go backwards. And his advice actually did help. It was a “feel the force, Luke” moment. If only life were that simple, I might be more proficient at that too. Haha. The less time for analysis the better, apparently, with my brain.

All in all, it was a mighty fine time at the race track, I have to say. Very empowering. I have always been a live on the edge, risk taking, high speed, ‘fine line to adrenaline junkie’ kinda person though, so probably no surprise there that I enjoyed racing and car tricks. (Don’t tell my instructor that I called them car tricks, he might yell at me more — because this course has a much fancier title that the government came up with called “Counter Terrorist Driving” — as opposed to what us Texans would just call plain ol’ race car and stunt driving). But these instructors, (as with our instructors from Indiana) are pretty hard core and experienced, and so we continued to build on our FOB/working with the military lessons from last week to “Move with a Purpose” — as in DRIVE Frickin’ FAST (but always under control) — and to follow his instructions without questions, without question, and on a dime — my instructor would urge me to go faster and faster, and then as it looked to me we were about to run something over, shout at me to Stop, as in “Make Car Not Move NOW” J — and brake fast and hard without losing steering control. Loved it (as soon as I had gotten over my parental instincts of breaking before he told me too in order to avoid hitting a cone, but I got scolded for not following instructions, was told the cone was NOT a child, so I did better the next times).

And of course, I volunteered to go first in our group for ramming a car out of the way, which was a blast. You drive at it, gas on full, and don’t stop until you are through. It’s a bit intimidating until you get the hang out it. The other fun part was when the driver (instructor) gets killed (yes, PRETEND killed), and I had to take control of the car from the passenger seat and continue to drive fast, on blind curves, blind hills, between cones, etc., keeping him and myself stable on the curves. I enjoyed that part too and did well at almost everything except driving in reverse at 40 miles an hour doing a serpentine through cones (representing cement and major obstacles that will render your car useless, so to be avoided), and whipping into small alleys backwards. I found that part really hard – we had to practice with our rear view mirror, looking backward, and using an object in front of us and looking forward while moving backwards. Also disconcerting. I was scared on the skid control part but with practice soon got much better at it and felt WAYYY better — we went in tight fast circles across wet tracks and sprinklers and the driver would make us lose traction on both front and back wheels at different times while he taught to come out of a skid, moving fast, control the car while doing so and keep going. That’s probably a skill I’ll use for a long time.

I never knew race car type driving required so much focus and concentration and uses a bunch of muscles in your body and is actually quite HARD! So cool. As with last week, so with this week… in exposing me to all of this, they may have just created a monster… The little bossy commander in me takes the wheel for the next year, oh, what will the world come to?

Tune in next time…